Hello darlings -

Jumping on the bandwagon as I always do! Here’s some propaganda that I’m falling for this summer:

Setting clear goals actually works

Boice said so, friends. Let’s set some fucking GOALS for this summer.

Reading makes me a better writer

So if you see me with my stories, STFU

Being around smart people makes me smarter

Coming off of several conferences full of absolutely brilliant people and heading to a writing retreat with some of the smartest people I know IS going to make me smarter. I just know it.

Writing in beautiful places makes me a better writing

I just KNOW it does. I know it.

Mantras work

Having a positive attitude towards my writing (even when it sucks ass) makes writing more enjoyable. Get those positive affirmations out, bitches

Logging out of email is good, actually

What information could that hellpit possibly contain?

Being fake is very tiring

Being my authentic weird self around other authentic weirdos is way better and easier than faking that I’m normal

Tricking smart coauthors into carrying me is amazing

Get ready for a Mirya-backpack, folks!

I need to see people IRL

Seeing other academics in person is the best part of this job. Conferences may not be necessary but WOW are they important for my survival in this job at this current point in time.

Hope to see you out there soon, bebes. I’ll probably be taking a lil break from MHAWS until late July or August while I write my words and see my beautiful places and meet my smart people. Take care of yourselves!

XOXOX

Mirya

Hello darlings –

It is somehow May. What the fuck. WHEW. I guess summer is here?

I’m going to be honest and say: April and the first part of May was not my best work. The world is fucking terrible. Lots of personal stuff. Lots of moping. Lots of distractions. But the terrible / awesome thing about this academic life is that every season is a new opportunity to set unreachable goals.

It occurred to me that maybe people would like to see my sad ass summer planning as I attempt to get my life together. Or not. I don’t actually care! Like, at all! You can just unsubscribe!

My summer goal setting process:

Here are two documents that I am drawing from:

My goals. You can start with the blank one and click on Mirya’s goals if it won’t make you sad or mad. (look on the left side for different tabs)

My week by week calendar. Same as before – start with the generic one and look at mine if you are brave. (tabs are on the bottom here).

Step 1: Plan fun

I start with my holidays. When am I taking them? Put them down on my list

Step 2: What do I owe to who when?

I go through all my deadlines (there a lot of them! Too many!) and map out when I will owe anyone anything. I generally organize these by deadline.

(Aside: I’ll be at State Politics, the Politics & Gender Conference, and EPSA. Please say hi! I like to know y’all aren’t just bots)

Step 2b: Cry, panic, rejoice (optional) (I will try to not to do these things when I meet people IRL)

Step 3: Putting me first

Take a step away from the suck and think about my ‘life’ goals for the summer. How do I want to take care of my body, mind, spirit? These could and should involve something fun, something for YOU. Learn to box, go dancing, run every day, knit an outfit for your pet rat, whatever.

Step 4: More goals, goals, goals, goals.

Look at my deadlines and my broader life goals and come up with some big ass goals for the summer. I’m still trying to write some fucking books, so this summer’s non-deadline goals are about writing books!

Step 4b: Panic again!

But this time I remember the advice that my dog trainer posted that is actually just the best advice for humans like me (a) what’s the next best thing I can do for me? b) you can always start over, c) look at everything as feedback not a setback, d) nobody’s perfect, e) don’t overlook the small wins).

(another aside: great dog trainer)

Step 5: Figure out my schedule

Add all my deadlines into my week by week planner and then start to fit in the deadlines. Then fill in other shit around the deadlines. Then scale that shit back because you aren’t fucking superwoman and maybe you don’t need to be all gas no breaks every single fucking summer MIRYA

Step 6: Enjoy my summer!

That’s it! Then I just do all the things! It is simple really! (I’m joking, I’m going to fail at all this shit, don’t listen to anything I say)

XOXOX

Mirya

Hello darlings!

(I’m just skipping the how the hell are you. I know. Not good. I hope you at least get to eat a cookie today. That’s my prescription.) If you aren’t in the mood for some angst, I totally understand. Save this for another day.

This week, after a great amount of whining and moaning and gnashing my teeth, I finished going through the page proofs for my new book, The Hidden Face of Local Power. You can buy it! Discount code PO25S might get you 25% off the very reasonable price! For the haters and the losers keeping track, yes, that’s three books in an academic year. Okay, smug shilling over.

When this comes out in June, I will consider it a personal triumph. I did not think I would finish this book. I hate working by myself and I started the project because I had a job in a toxic department that told me that I would not be promoted without a second solo book and a dean that told me that without a second solo book, I wouldn’t have a “singular contribution.” FWIW, I think it is totally fucking reasonable to write something because you need it to get a job, keep a job, get promoted, whatever. It is a job. People do shit they hate for jobs all the fucking time.

So, I struggled from 2019 until literally yesterday to write this fucking book. But now I think it is actually okay? Like, good even? Maybe someone will read it and go “OH” because it explains some piece of local democracy that seems bananas.

So how did I finish a project like this? I already wrote here about pivoting to writing books and how I thought about being a “book person.”

How I wrote some books

Mirya

·

November 13, 2023

Hello darlings!

Read full story

Today’s missive is more – how did I force myself to do this?

I didn’t let myself quit.

In 2015-2017, I wrote 45000 words of another solo book before this one and then got tenure and realized I hated it and just… stopped. Walked away. Didn’t look at it again. I gave myself the gift of stopping working on that project. It was probably the wrong decision. (Maybe?)

Look, writing a book is hard. If it was easy, every fuck face out there would do it. But they don’t! That means that sometimes (a lot of the time), it is going to fucking suck.

But this time, even when I got into the middle of it and realized that I hated every single word of this cursed document, I kept going.

I had a variety of mantras that helped me:

• - Keep the main thing the main thing

• - Interesting, Important, True

• - Interesting, not perfect.

• - The only way through is through

• - Shut the fuck up and write

• - Don’t fuck this up

• - Writing is a privilege of the damned. Get damned.

• - Losers have written way worse books, Mirya

The whole thing about insanity being doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results does NOT apply to my writing.

I set goals, I failed to meet those goals, I set more goals, I failed to meet those goals, and set more goals. I kind of met those goals. I set more goals. I failed. I set more goals and I met those goals. I finished the fucking book. I did not let myself stop.

I embraced accountability. All kinds. As much as possible.

Old school MHAWS readers will know that I’m a big fan of Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies (social scientists LOVE a 2x2). Rubin’s thesis is that we all respond in different ways to internal and external accountability – I’m an upholder, who responds to both internal and external accountability. So I embraced both forms as much as possible.

Internal: goals, rewards, some punishments. As I mentioned, I set a lot of goals. I almost universally failed to meet those goals. When I did meet those goals, it was because they were attached some kind of concrete reward (or, in one very specific circumstance, a punishment).

External: I offloaded so much of this onto other people. Y’all. Whew. My writing groups. People at writing retreats. My weekly goal buddy. My partner. My friends. Everyone helped hold me accountable. They also provided me with a lot of enthusiasm that I could NOT muster at various points in the process.

I started out really looking for someone to body double me in this process but guess what? I took too fucking long to finish this book and everyone I know writing a book at the beginning finished their fucking books years before I did.

Comparison is the thief of NOTHING (if it actually motivates you)

I kept a list of books that I think are absolute garbage and would regularly think about how my book was at least a little bit better than those piles of shit.

I also kept a stack of inspirational books around me and re-read them for tips on style, organization, for when I couldn’t possibly think of a fucking conclusion. These books include Jessica Trounstine’s Segregation by Design, Megan Ming Francis’ Civil Rights and the Making of the Modern American State, and Elizabeth McRae’s Mothers of Massive Resistance, among others.

I used these books — both bad and good — to motivate me. The bad ones were the floor, the good ones, the ceiling.

I got a LOT of help. (As I’ve already said)

I went on a writing retreat. And another one. I hired a lot of people to make drinks for me at bars around the world as I nursed my broken spirit when I couldn’t write another word. I hired an editor (Kelly Clancy). This book would not exist without Kelly, who both provided external accountability AND encouragement while letting me retain my voice in the book. Further in the process, I hired Joseph Stuart to do an index for me and he was so smart and made this process so easy for me.

I cannot emphasize enough that you should surround yourself with other smart people who are on the same mission as you are. If you need to pay people to make that happen, pay people. If you can find buddies, amazing. You aren’t alone.

I satisficed the hell out of this project.

Is this the best book ever written. Oh god no. Is it the best book I could ever write? Also no. Is it going to change the world? Of course not. But if any of those things were the standard, I was never ever ever going to finish it.

Instead of some unrealistic standard, I decided that I was going to get 92% of the way to the best book I could write right now. Why 92%? That’s an A, babbeeeey. Okay, I don’t know. That’s as far as I could imagine getting. So I put on my big gal pants and got it as close to some dumb line in the sand that I made up in my mind. Is all this dumb as a box of rocks? Yes. Did it help me mentally cope? Also yes. I was never going to let go of this text if I didn’t figure out some way to say “this is good enough.” So this is the game I played with myself. And it worked. You might read this and go “this bitch thinks she got to 92%????” but I don’t care because it is NOT MY PROBLEM anymore.

What questions do you have about forcing yourself to finish a project? About writing a book? About local appointed boards and commission? You should put it here in the MHAWS NGL link! (well, not the last one. Just buy the book and never ever ask me a question about it again).

XOXOX

Mirya

Hello darlings –

Well, somehow it has been 15 years (today!) since I defended my dissertation! That’s shocking to me because I have no fucking idea what I’m doing and I’ve been doing it for this long?!? WHAT. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT THIS STILL??

* if you get this reference, then you too are an “old” but at least a kind of cool one?

** all opinions my own and do not reflect my employer, the state of Texas, or the United States of America

I have been thinking about the ways that being in academia (and maybe just being in life?) apply to fighting for democracy. Here are my 15 lessons:

1. It will be really hard. Keep going.

This job (of being an academic / saving democracy) is hard! If it was easy, everyone would do it! It would be like being a DJ – everyone would try it out for a while. It isn’t. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth doing. Accept the suck and know that you are capable of this work. Keep going.

2. Some moments will feel like you are living in a fake reality. Remember to laugh about it.

A colleague calling economy class “steerage” in a faculty meeting // an 18 year old asking you out on a date // a group chat between the foreign policy apparatus and the editor of the Atlantic // rate my professor // purple capes // evil rich people // stupid loser men.

It’s all dumb. It IS funny. Don’t let the fucking sour mouths of the world tell you that laughing isn’t a weapon.

3. People will tell you that you can’t change anything. They are lying.

People lie. All the time. About everything. But especially about your own agency. About your ability to choose the life you want, the government you want, the representatives you want. They are lying to you because they don’t have the bravery to imagine a better world.

4. You will get lots of bad advice, ignore it

SO MUCH BAD ADVICE. (says the advice columnist) (my advice is also bad!) Be careful who you trust, who you listen to, and evaluate people’s claims against the evidence.

5. You will get lots of good advice, take it

There’s a lot of great information out there from people who have already made all the mistakes you are about to make. Why don’t you listen to them about how to make your life better? About how to make the world better?

6. Success looks like failure for 1000 times (until it doesn’t)

Sometimes this job / fighting for democracy feels like running head first into a wall over and over and over and over again. Until the wall cracks. It seems like the dumbest shit ever – running into the wall over and over again. Marching over and over. Calling over and over. Until it isn’t.

7. Know your strengths, build them

Don’t do this imposter syndrome bullshit about “oh I don’t have strengths I don’t know…” Stop crying and figure out what you are good at. Cultivate those skills. Invest in them. Grow stronger. Gnash your teeth. Terrify your enemies.

8. Know your weaknesses, diminish them

Know what your weaknesses are and confront them. Know the traps. Know the things that will demobilize you for days / weeks / months. Avoid them. Train yourself to get around them.

9. Get therapy

Like, seriously. For this job and this life and this fucking democracy.

10. Distractions are everywhere

Especially right now. The stupid important shit is totally mixed in with the stupid unimportant shit in a giant pot of shit soup. Figure out ways of dealing with all of it. I told some folks recently that I give myself a 30 minute panic hour where I learn everything that’s wrong with the world today. Do what you need to do to survive this hellscape (both the job and the world)

11. Connections will be the difference between winning and losing

Build community, learn from it, give to it, expect nothing back but gain everything.

12. Take a chance

Stop playing safe. With your ideas, your teaching, your research, your fight for democracy. (This is absolutely a note to myself)

13. Burn shit down

Figuratively, of course.

14. Plan for losing

What will it look like if you don’t get the job? Elections aren’t held? The book isn’t done? There’s no social security? The article is rejected? Bank accounts are frozen? Tenure is denied? Borders close? What are the concrete plans you have for personal and national failure?

15. Plan for winning

What will it look like if you do succeed? If we pull ourselves back from the brink? If we get another chance? And another one? And another one? What will you do then? How will you rise?

XOXOX

Mirya

Hello darlings -

<looks out at the world> yep still sucks <goes back to writing>

So… I’ve been getting rejected. A lot. 8 rejections of my work in 2025 alone! Ayayaya. So I decided to reup and update a very old MHAWS (from 2019! I was emailing 46 people!) about rejection because I needed these reminders.

Over the course of my career, rejects mean less and less to me. I used to be derailed for days — weeks — years by a bad rejection. Now I mope around for a little bit and get back to work. How? A simple, 14 part plan that involves being repeated stabbed by an intellectual knife held by people I respect! (joking. not really. but yeah).

Here’s how I have learned to cope with rejections:

I developed a mourning ritual for my rejections.

Rejections represent a death (of a possibility) and deserve a mourning period. I drink a bottle of champagne every time I am rejected. I wallow in the sadness for a day. There may be some ranting and raving. I update my rejection counter. I give myself a day or two.

And THEN I read the reviews, develop a plan, and move on. Your ritual might be: Burning the reviews. Drinking whiskey. Lighting up the group chat. Cooking an elaborate dessert and eating it. Going for a long run. Watching a sappy movie and crying. Planting some flowers. Booking a flight out of the country. Researching foreign currency. Calling a friend. Calling your dad. Calling your representative. Rewatch your favorite episode of your favorite show. Put on Eras and dance along. Go to a death metal show and join the mosh pit. Make a effigy and burn it. Putting on your favorite rejection playlist and screaming to it.

Criteria for a good rejection ritual:

1. it facilitates your expression of emotions (anger, sadness, and anxiety are all emotions I routinely feel with rejections)

2. it is finite in time (I don’t let myself wallow forever) (but I am still wallowing about a rejection I received on Dec 25, 2010 so… maybe don’t listen to me)

3. it is something I LIKE and practice regularly so I won’t only associate with rejection (i.e. I drink champagne all the time! I love it! I drank champagne on 50 different occasions in 2024. And I wasn’t even rejected that much!)

4. it feels like a treat. (okay, calling your representative doesn’t feel like a treat. BUT).

I talk to the experts:

You might be tempted to clamp down and not tell anyone. After all, it is embarrassing to get rejected!

Fuck that shit. It is a badge of honor to get rejected and all your friends know this and have that badge too.

You are probably surrounded by people who experience rejection all the time. How do they deal? What are the ways they manage this weird and bad part of our lives? My friends tell me that they too have been rejected a lot! They tell me about the stories of a paper rejected 14 times before it hit at a top places. About the little paper that could. About the mean reviewer or the nice reviewer or the helpful reviewer. Thank the fucking goddesses for friends in this business!

Here are some thoughts on rejection that have stuck with me:

Read Chuck Wendig on rejection. Consider what he means when he says:

“You need to see rejection as bad-ass Viking Warrior battle scars, as a roadmap of pain that makes you stronger, faster, smarter, and stranger. A writer without rejections under her belt is the same as a farmer with soft hands; you shake that dudette’s hand and you know, she’s not a worker, not a fighter, and wouldn’t know the value of her efforts if they came up and stuck a Garden Weasel up her ass. Rejections are proof of your efforts. Be proud to have ’em.”

(slightly altered to reflect my gender pronouns)

Or Maya Angelou:

“Only one attitude enabled me to move ahead. That attitude said, ‘Rejection can simply mean redirection.”

Or Rachel Khong

I just feel really bad about it for a day and then I try not to think about it anymore. I mean, I think that being a writer is just a lot of endless rejection forever. It’s constant and happens throughout your whole career, if you’re lucky.

Rejections, if you are lucky:

The next part of this seems absolutely insane, but stay with me okay: aim for rejections. The only way you get rejected is if you send stuff out and aim high and try too hard.

To facilitate this, I set a rejection goal every single academic year (current goal: 12 rejections, I’ve gotten to 10).

Now, you might think: Mirya, academic life is FULL of rejections. Why would I want more? Well, if you think of rejections themselves as the goal, then getting one lets you cross something off your list! It demonstrates to you that you tried! You took a risk!

Move the fuck on.

We all have rejections that stick with us for a long time, but most of mine (even very mean or unfair or stupid ones) have faded into the mists of the past. I don’t keep them. I don’t revisit them. The worst ones are absolutely not about me, but are about someone else who is small minded and without a life. I might spend a little bit of time wishing that they get the shits right before a big event or become allergic to their favorite food but then I move the fuck on.

What I have I missed, my darlings? What other parts of this life do you have questions about? Drop all questions here: MHAWS NGL

XOXOX

Mirya